I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
