yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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