We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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