every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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