if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize