Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
