Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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