im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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