I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
