just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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