Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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