Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize