If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Sext me about skeletons
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
