I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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