I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize