fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
