i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i think i have two assholes
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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