He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
