If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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