I'm pants shitting drunk right now
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
please come you make the beer taste better
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize