I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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