I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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