i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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