I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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