it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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