so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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