no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize