So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
