The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he was CRYING into my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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