you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
this will be a night to untag.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
