Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
