Screwed.edu
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
