I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
false alarm, still single
Randomize
