I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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