6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
