Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
