No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
