you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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