was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
