I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize