DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
