I accidentally had phone sex last night
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
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found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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