Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
