Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
