Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
