Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
They have beer where we have blood.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
