why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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