he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
