it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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