i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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