put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
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and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
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Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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