Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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