As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
