Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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