I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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