Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
