Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
