I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
