well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You left your underwear on the fireplace
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot