I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night