My Higher Power is John Stamos
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Is her dick bigger than yours?