barbara walters just said penis...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
