i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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